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Born a poet, died a slave

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Thursday, May 14th, 2009
3:49 am
God, I have to quit drinking.

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Sunday, April 12th, 2009
6:26 am - pete townsend can suck it
i broke my flying V, and sent my PRS' headstock into the ceiling during a supercharched practice. i almost blew up my boogie at ona's (a jazz club! hahaha!) so...i dunno, maybe i should freak out on my gear less...

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Thursday, March 26th, 2009
8:54 am - 5 year winter
so after 5 agonizing years on my epilepsy medicine depakote, i am finally going to be getting off it and getting on topomax. the upshot is that im going to lose the 60 pounds i gained on depakote and have been unable to get off since my college days. the downside is that all of these medicines are migraine and bi-polar medicines that can heavily effect my psychological functions (as depakote has as well). im a little scared but i think ill be able to handle it. i guess im most concerned that the depakote has been working to control my seizures very well, but depression, severe weight gain, liver damage, hair loss, and severe difficulty sleeping have all taken their toll on my mentality and i simply cant do it anymore.

so im going to close my eyes, and hold my breath, and well see what happens these next 3 months...

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Sunday, March 15th, 2009
2:27 pm - learn the rules
Gas, grass, or ass, baby, nobody rides for free.

current mood: relaxed

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Wednesday, January 28th, 2009
12:39 pm - Canto of a Windless Choir
A ghost of muttered voices
Sweeps across the wind
I cant tell if i'm coming back 'round
Or slipping back in
I've been here before...
I've seen this place...
And I'll make it out this time.
The haze stops me blind...
A note bends through the trees...
And I think I see a light.

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Sunday, October 26th, 2008
10:50 am - what a shitty night
my car got booted in southside.
i didnt sell a damn thing hardly in the store.
i got drunk.
i ran out of gas on 65 just north of 33rd ave N. not safe at 1:30 in the morning and shitty drunk.
and more than 5 miles from home. :(
i finally got home at roughly 4.

its times like last night that im happy my heart is cold and hardened now, because i felt like crying.

urgh.


thank you lathen for saving my ass. i guess were even now.

and now im going to nurse my hangover.

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Wednesday, September 3rd, 2008
7:38 am - wow, what a monstrous swing of karma.
So, todays story begins weeks ago, on a Saturday. I left Cosmos after work (at like 2 in the morning) and went to the Plaza to have a few drinks with friends. I come out to my car to find the battery quite dead. So after screaming and cursing and smashing my hand onto the roof of the car in anger, a couple of hobos helped me pry my back seat open while I fished my jumper cables out of the trunk and i got a jump start.

The next day: My hand is truly smashed to bits. I went in to Cosmos and couldnt even open the door my wrist hurt so bad. So Lisa tells me that im fucking worthless and good for nothing and fires me on the spot. Bitch. On my way home I had a seizure and put my poor cavalier into a concrete retaining wall on 65N. 2 things. 1) I didnt fly off the side of the interstate to a death 50ft below, nor fly into traffic and hurt more people than myself. 2) Only damage to the car was a blown tire and a smashed a wheel to bits. So as im riding in the ambulance to the hospital, I decide to call Lisa and give her a piece of my mind. She sounded like she was about to cry, so I felt readily justified. Anyway, so hours and hours go by and eventually im let go from the ER after being bitched out by everyone on the staff *insert random "You could have killed me or my family driving without meds, blah blah blah"*

Melanie comes by the next day after she finally hears what happened. This was the last time ive talked to her. I never had a girl flake on me so bad that she wouldnt even call or something to break up. The bitch just stopped talking to me altogether the next day and wouldnt answer my calls. Anyway, so James from Bailey Brothers calls me bright and early at like 9:30 and im still hungover, wakes me up, and says "Hey, you need a job?" Believe me I perked right up. So here I am now, about 3 weeks later, and im -the- guitar guy at Bailey Brothers now. I couldnt be happier (well, I could, but fuck it, I dont need a girlfriend). I have the best job I could possibly pray for and the money is rolllllling in!

So thank you karma.
Thank you for those who helped me get my car un-broke.

Much love,
J

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Wednesday, July 23rd, 2008
5:23 am - lordy
i am drunk

really rezally fuckin drunk.

and im going to bed.

and you should all come and party at cosmos with me!

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Friday, July 18th, 2008
2:05 am - i met a girl
her name is melanie. shes a real estate appraiser. seems like she digs me. i hope this plays out well!

current mood: hopeful

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Friday, July 4th, 2008
1:19 pm - fire on the mountain
Should be fun. I have a date tonight for the first time in forever. Shes a way hottie. Im excited :-D

current mood: naughty

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Wednesday, June 25th, 2008
4:03 pm - its my birthday!
too bad i really dont have anything to celebrate. i got diagnosed with rocky mountain spotted fever AND lyme disease, so i have like another week before i am cleared to go back to work. this sucks in massive quantities. not only am i broke as shit, but i cant make any money either :(

and man im lonely. fuck.

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Friday, June 20th, 2008
9:37 am - joni and kristen
are getting married at the b'ham courthouse in like an hour and a half. guess i need to clean up! im finally well enough to go back to work, but im still worn down for sure.

current mood: calm

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Monday, June 16th, 2008
10:07 am - not the flu
rocky mountain spotted fever.

my hands and soles of my feet are covered in blister-like things under my skin.

god, it makes me want to rip it all off.

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Friday, June 13th, 2008
1:35 am - :( sick
flu symptoms.
came on fast a strong.
dang.

current mood: sick

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Wednesday, May 28th, 2008
2:08 am
...and then it rained...

current mood: melancholy

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Friday, May 23rd, 2008
2:47 am
god someone help me

current mood: distressed

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Tuesday, May 6th, 2008
11:49 am - providence, end of original lyrics draft circa 2003.
here ends the dream
a cover and a blank slate
but i gave my heart
to a lie, and a farse, and a fake

current mood: sleepy

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Friday, May 2nd, 2008
11:21 am
i hate when i write a song and 4 years later everything ive written happens. goddamit.

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Monday, April 28th, 2008
12:50 pm - in the presence of enemies
Welcome tired pilgrim
Into the circle
We have been waiting

Everyone's gathered
for your arrival
All the believers

Angels fall
all for you
heretic
Demon heart
bleed for us

current mood: crushed

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Saturday, April 26th, 2008
4:11 am
rejoice - the age of the fall has begun.
we'll dance as the palaces burn.

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